I don’t always honour myself. I don’t always honour my needs and desires.
Life is too much of an unexpected whirlwind for this to be possible. But I do know that it is possible to be the best we can at it.
When I don’t get my meditation in, when I don’t do my daily stretching/yoga, when I haven’t written or journaled for a week, I tend to get frustrated, annoyed and even angry that I can’t access my peace. I feel disconnected from mental health and no longer feel like my ‘best self’. Often I will take it out on people who are close to me, especially my mum when I started living overseas.
Moving homes and countries a lot will teach you adaptability, resiliency and self-reliance. And it might also teach you to be self-critical if you believe you are on some sort of mission to do it / be successful on your own.
I definitely experience the latter, which is why it seems my only ‘bad’ days are the ones where I didn’t get to do my routine activities.
This past month I’ve been house & pet sitting, and as I should’ve expected, the routines I have to maintain a healthy and attentive mind were going to be challenged.
They’ve been particularly challenged the last few days, and its when I noticed something key… Not having my routines isn’t what made me frustrated, it was that I felt like I didn’t have control over when and how.
I was expecting myself to be consistent when life was moving in every direction. What I believed to be crucial was a sense of control, when actually what was vital to having a sense of peace is flexibility, thankfulness, grace, and being open to new ways of being.
The inner work never stops. Maybe there will always be something we need to give ourselves grace for.
But for certain in a life filled with transition, trying to stay in control might just rob us of the peace received from having an open and inviting mind. And as such, one that honours who we are.
Much love,
Jules x
ps. here is a picture of Obi, the cat we are currently sitting in Calgary Alberta!
