I've been staying with a friend in England and he's been finding it challenging to work and find a job that he likes. His options are slim as his finances are almost at zero, so the option to work in the country he desires to will have to wait. To get where he wants to go he needs money to apply for the visas and flights, and to have money he will need to work.
The factual part of this all is as above:
Want to live in different country > need a visa > need money for the visa > need to work for the money
The actions to take:
Work any job for money > save the money > apply for the visas & get flights > arrive in desired country
I've had my own battles between working with what's true and instead spending all my energy on the stories I have around it. And then instead of being with what's here and now, I spend all my time living in the past or living in the future. Living anywhere but here.
So it was interesting to now observe this happening to my friend who I love, and only wish for him to be his bright, cheery, and charming self. Doing what he does best and knowing that he is already moving toward what he desires. (This is a lesson for me as well)
Moving toward what we desire, and being here too
Yesterday we took a day out to the city. My friend had worked his first week at this new company not far from home. The frustrations from standards of his team and the company were silently stacking throughout the week, and when there were no buses for him to catch home on Saturday night he was fuming at the council. England sucked. The council sucked. His parents choice of living here sucked. The job sucked. And people suck. (Yes, the generalisations of sucky-ness scale fast when we are not in our healthy state of mind).
I knew he would need to vent today - to decompress and share all that went on in his week that has lead him to how he feels in the present moment. (I think that is why we all need to vent - to catchup with ourselves in way. By sharing the 'stuff' we packed on we can clear a slate for new understanding and eventually spend our time how we imagined). For most of the day he was feeling not-himself. Tired, angry, annoyed, disappointed, and overwhelmed to some degree.
He was always naturally comparing things, mostly how much better things were in Japan (the country he wants to live in). Today it was a heightened sense of why things weren't better here, how they could be, and why they wouldn't be.
I noticed myself a lot in his behaviour because no matter what he was thinking, he wasn't here. He was re-living past scenarios, comparing the days when his life was better, and imagining places where he'd be happier. I understood where he was because I'd been there too. The craziest and best thing about this is that it's all really temporary and required for us to get to where we want to be. We've all got to be dreaming a bit, despite what all the presence-gurus say.
The dance between desire and joy
While meditation helps us create the space to enjoy the now, you and I wouldn't be here without imagining where we could be. One of the secrets of living I am learning, is this dance between desire and joy. How can I use my desires to fuel my motivation, drive and creativity, while also appreciating that my greatest capacity of happiness is in the now? That I am successful now and that I have all I need right now?
Confusing isn't it? Well let me share with you two things that has given me peace:
#1. It's not a trade off. It's not a choice between being driven to achieve and being content with where you are. You can be driven and be at peace.
#2. The dance isn't external. When you understand that the moving piece is internal, life is more enjoyable. i.e. when you discover that being happy comes from honouring who you are, and loving who you are, you can achieve things from this place and if it doesn't work out, you are happy anyway!
You can be anywhere
For me personally, knowing that I can be anywhere gives me the ability to be here now. I know that sounds wishy-washy but it's true. Surrendering to the instability of life, that things will be uncertain at times, and not making things hard for myself is what currently helps me achieve peace.
It hasn't been all peaceful - I still get headaches and feel mind-cluttered. But most the time now I notice that I'm just making it hard for myself to have what I want.
